The Naked Gun Is Incredible, As Are Free Games
That last part references Namco giving me a Steam code to give out for their new game, Shadow Labyrinth.
Hello! Happy Tuesday! Another regular update! Lone Starr, you’re doing it!
How are things on your end? I’ve been that ever-satisfying combination of extremely busy and having very little to show for it at the moment. Sometimes I feel like I’m a dog on a treadmill at the vet: Completely confused as to where I am, what’s happening, why all this running is doing nothing, and how will I make them all pay. But that’s just me. I want you to be inspired like… A dog not on the treadmill at the vet.
If you can pull that off, you can do anything.
See The Naked Gun Immediately
I’m getting real fuckin’ tired of society’s ills, buddy! Up to here with them!
That said, I do not have the emotional energy today to be mad in longform about something that’s stupid. In fact, maybe it would benefit me to be positive up top? It hasn’t been tested by anyone in history, but maybe it can have a little juice.
So.
Go see the remake of The Naked Gun immediately.
I know, I know, you’re going to say the trailer didn’t look great. I know. You gotta trust me on this one. The trailer mostly had the film’s earliest and worst jokes (outside of the O.J. bit) - and some of the jokes in the trailer didn’t quite work because there wasn’t the payoff. Ignore the trailer. That’s what I’m telling you to do. See this movie.
It avoids the trap of remakes and reboots and legacy sequels. Liam Neeson is perfect as Frank Drebin Jr. (the son of the original played by Leslie Nielsen) and Pamela Anderson very much understands the assignment as Beth Davenport, a character whose name might not have any meaning to you if you’ve seen the previous films because she’s not in them. Every person in this movie gets exactly what they’re trying to do here. Paul Walter Hauser deserves an Oscar for this.
Outside of maybe two minor jokes that reference the old films and a split-second cameo, there’s almost nothing from the original Naked Gun movies here. But that is good! Rather than trying to give fan service and recreate bits or try to out-do old ones by going big, this version of Naked Gun has completely original comedy. It’s memorable. It doesn’t feel like it’s trying to recapture your youth - it’s trying to recapture good comedy. It feels less like a reboot meant to get a franchise back up and running and more like the perfect homage and spiritual successor that happens to carry the same name. Maybe that doesn’t make sense. Maybe it does. That’s showbiz, baby!
There are jokes in this movie that are all-timers. Jokes that will stick with me. And I’d so much love to tell you what they are. And the second time I saw it - because, yes, I saw it twice in one weekend - I picked up even more jokes that I missed while I was laughing.
I don’t want to spoil any part of the movie for you - especially because it’s only 85 minutes - but I want to pitch you on seeing it in a theater. Between watching Happy Gilmore 2 at a packed pre-screening and seeing The Naked Gun in a full theater, I forgot just how much I missed watching a live comedy movie with a crowd. People were fucking dying at some of the moments. Seeing it in the theater with strangers realizing the same bizarre shit is happening makes it all the more better.
Would I still have enjoyed it if it wasn’t in theaters first? Probably! Will I still watch it a hundred times again after I own it on Blu-ray? Definitely! But seeing pure, unadulterated comedy in a theater was so much fun and, god, I hope we slowly get back to where it used to be.
I’ll leave it at this: If it wasn’t called “The Naked Gun,” people would be still saying, “This is the best spoof movie since the original Naked Gun.” Or, at least, I would. And I used to matter to somebody. Hot Shots is good, too, now that I think about it.
One Free PAC-MAN Metroidvania Code Care of Namco!
Well, this is nice! Someone from Namco reached out to me about my book and newsletter and asked if I wanted to share a free Steam code for their new game Shadow Labyrinth with one lucky reader of this post. This isn’t sponsored content, just someone from a company being genuinely cool and giving me something to pass along to one of you.
I’ve been playing the game a bit and it’s kind of incredible how they incorporate PAC-MAN into a gritty sci-fi world. You don’t think it’s going to work. Then you’re kind of surprised it’s working. Then it really works and you feel like a fool for doubting them. Even if you’re not an old arcade fan, this would be completely at home with you if you like a good Metroidvania. Again, not paid to say this, just sharing my opinion. If you want to pay me for my opinion, though, ka-ching, baby!
Anyway, if this type of weirdo fun mashup sparks your interest - and it should - there’s only one free Steam code for the game, so it’s first come, first serve. Good luck.
Shit Arcade & My Obituary Show Are Back Next Month
I had mentioned a week or two ago that I’m bringing back Shit Arcade to Union Hall on September 4th. As we speak, I’m sourcing some terrible games and was lucky enough to book some amazing comedians for the show:
Josh Gondelman
Alison Leiby
Dina Hashem
John F. O'Donnell
Zahid Dewji
These folks are truly hilarious dorks who are going to be suffering through some really bad games. And then, I’m going to give some of those away to the audience for free. So if you’ve ever wanted some of the worst that the Game Boy Color has to offer, do I have a show for you!
Tickets are cheaper online than at the door, so if you’re interested, you can grab some here.
Long before this Substack existed and even before the pandemic, I used to do a comedy show at QED Astoria called “My Obituary Show.” As you can guess from the title, comedians write and read their own obituaries. I stopped doing it during the pandemic - who can say why? - but I’ve been thinking about relaunching it for a while now. So, huzzah, it’s coming back to its home at QED Astoria on September 25th. Tickets and lineup TBD.
Shows
I’ve been performing a lot more recently, which means there are actual shows people can go to. I’m also planning on traveling more later this year and early next year for more events outside of New York and Los Angeles. Either way, all of these shows are going to be great, so you can’t miss on ‘em. Even if I suck? Someone better is there!
8/5 - Alphaville
8/6 - We Have Fun @ Young Ethel’s
8/29 - Live From Outer Space @ Cobra Club
9/4 - Shit Arcade @ Union Hall
9/11 - Wedding Out The Stoned @ Bellhouse
9/12 - End of the Line Comedy @ QED
9/25 - The Obituary Show @ QED
Recommendations
You already know what I’m recommending. Get the hell out there and see this movie in a theater. And then go home and play a great side-scrolling game filled with exploration and sentient yellow spheres that eat everything.
That’s All!
Still working on migrating to a better platform. There is some exciting stuff to share soon, but I feel like I always sound like I’m full of shit when I’m talking about it. The point is, I’ll give you more when I’ve got it!
Thanks as usual for reading. Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Actually, it’s a little weird if you’re friends with your neighbors. You know what? Maybe I’m weird for feeling that way. What have we come to as a society if you can’t befriend those that share a wall or a yard? Perhaps I’m the symbol of what’s broken and cannot be repaired. Anyway, tell them.