Welcome to “I’ll Buy That for $5,” in which I review games both good, bad, and truly awful that cost $5 or under. If you want to see more of these, please subscribe! If you don’t want to see more of these, I really respect that.
So you know those games like Hidden Folks where you have to look through a fun landscape of activity to find specific people and objects? Little busy characters going about their days, shopping, talking, just having fun?
Imagine the same tone and look, but you have to kill someone.
That’s Geometric Sniper.
Apparently it’s been on Steam for a while (for $1.99) but I bought it after it landed on Switch recently (a blood-braining $2.99). What attracted me to the game was that it was called Geometric Sniper. That seemed like enough reason to drop three dollars. Sniper. Geometry. Great. I’m not a deep man.
In the game, you’re given dossiers on who to kill. Sometimes it’s a picture and description of a person (or people) you need to take down. Sometimes it’s a picture of someone you need to protect by looking out for assassins. The latter you’ll fuck up each time because you think they’re telling you to kill some ambassador or chancellor or something. Whatever
The rub is that these are all little animated people with weird heads with different geometric shapes, so they blend in with each other pretty easily. You also can’t look at the dossier once you enter the mission - although the screenshot feature on the Switch basically makes that meaningless. Anyway. You memorize the look of the person - “circle head, scar over the eye, got it.” Shoot the wrong person, you lose.
Between missions, there’s bits of (intentionally, I think?) ridiculous fucking story matched with cartoony images of war. It’s a fun little take-down of dramatic war game stories. Or the person who made this game is insane. Either way, love it.
No notes.
I’m probably not going to come back to Geometric Sniper. It’s not a long game, and some of the missions verge on bullshit. But for $2 - $3? Worth it to blast some hexagonal head asshole who wants to poison the water supply.
🎵 Triange Head, Triangle Head
Aim to kill and now he’s dead